The experience of death - a fall upwards

I have a very dear book by a Franciscan friar, Richard Rohr. He has been to Latvia several times, Juris Rubenis works quite closely with him, he has written many books, but I definitely recommend this little book called "Falling Upwards". It's about how human transformation can happen in several ways, but the most popular way is unfortunately through suffering or a severe crisis situation where you seem to be falling down. But Richard Rohr calls it falling upwards.

Because through this painful, difficult experience, one is in a sense transformed to see things more broadly and to understand more.

As a rule, volunteers have had to deal with the death or serious illness of a loved one in their family or in close proximity. I do not know a single person among our volunteers who has not had this experience. Talking to people a little deeper, I realise that people are really transformed through this experience.

From commitment to opportunity - 2 years

I had the idea for a very long time that I wanted to help the hospital system. I myself spent a long time at the Pauls Stradins University Hospital and saw and felt from the inside how the system works.

I can only say the best about the medical profession, especially doctors, because they do what they can - as much as they have the resources. The weak link in the hospital was the nurses. In my case, the nurses were very important, because I was intubated with lung ventilation and completely paralysed. In such a condition it is very important to be able to make eye contact with the nurse - because that is the only way to communicate.

After I came out of hospital, I felt like I had seen a lot of the system from the inside, and in a way I am so lucky because I have somehow miraculously got out of it and I can walk. I decided that I definitely wanted to do something about it. Not because it was bad and needed to be improved, but because I saw, being there for so long, how much I missed someone who could come and give me a drink, read a book or just sit next to me. To do simple things that are not medical manipulations, like putting a blanket on or changing the position of a sleeping patient. Hospital staff don't have time for this, they can't give one patient as much attention as they should. They do what they can, of course - each to the best of their ability.

And then I tried several times to apply in one place, in another place and nobody even answered me. It was still at that time - 2017, 2018 - when there weren't really any opportunities. After several attempts, I decided that you don't want to break into a closed door. That's my approach to life. If you can't, you shouldn't.

Some time later, Indulis Paičs organised a seminar at the Institute of Integral Education on the recently published book "On the Brink of Death" by Kathleen Dowling Singh. There I met by chance Inta Gerhardi, the current Head of Care at Hospiss LV. Inta talked about the voluntary work she does. Hospice was not even on the cards then, but Inta was already doing volunteer work, she had experience with her father who had oncology and she also felt the need to help the hospital system. At that time I told Inta that I would also like to participate and it stayed that way. We exchanged phone numbers, Inta said she would call me when there was any news, a group of volunteers had formed. And she called me two years later, when the first volunteer training for the hospice was scheduled. I finished the training and then the "Table for our own" campaign started, which Ilze Neimane-Nespora and Ilze Zosule had already started in the spring, when the first wave of Covid-19 took place.

Full-time volunteer

The Ilzes had decided to support the medical staff overstretched by the Covid-19 crisis by delivering them a hot meal every day and I volunteered to manage the food. Step by step I got more and more involved. The pandemic also gave me more free time personally, everything in my business had come to a standstill and I was fully committed to the hospice. This was a period of about 2 years when I was almost a full-time employee. Then we also started the "Festive Table" projects in the hospice, with restaurant-prepared meals for the patients in the palliative wards. We used to hold these events outside in the hospital courtyard. Then, alongside all this, there was the "Respite for our own" project, where we sent medical staff to rest. This project is now also under my responsibility.

At the moment, I do most of the administrative work in the hospice, and I do it because I know I have to - someone has to do it. I think this is something that is very important for all of us as a society. Because the situation that we have at the moment is not normal. We have a lot of stroke patients in Latvia. We do not see it every day because we do not see them on the street or anywhere else, because these people do not get on the street, they do not have the opportunity. If a person has a stroke diagnosis, they are, as a rule, mobility-impaired and, in principle, have nowhere to stay. He is treated in hospital, then he goes to the Vaivari rehabilitation centre, where there is a long waiting list and he can only spend two weeks. In two weeks, a stroke patient cannot have anything done. Maybe the relatives can breathe a little easier. But then the person has to be taken home again. There are parallels here - hospice has more oncology patients because they have terminal survival - but otherwise there are a lot of similarities. Also, when a person is brought home from the palliative ward, the relatives do not know what to do with him. They do not have the equipment or the knowledge to take care of their loved one.

It's hard to compete with death

The idea of a hospice is actually wonderful and I think it is an area worth getting involved in and it is something that absolutely needs to be done - that is why I am dedicating time to this project and will continue to do so.

I myself feel that one of the tasks of hospice is to make society accept the fact of death. That it will happen to all of us. And we do quite a lot to encourage people to think about that. It is a step-by-step path that we are taking to educate society that the end of life is just as important as the beginning of life, if not more so.

I see in my circle of friends and acquaintances that people are often very confused about this. They say to me: "What can you do with death, as if there is little suffering and problems in life". Because people don't want to see it and they don't want to talk about it. Because it is unpleasant.

Volunteering can be done in many different ways. We are currently organising various other projects and actions also because we want to raise awareness on the subject of hooping. When I looked into it, I realised that we cannot compete with death. It's not as simple as we'll run an ad and everyone will donate because people want to donate to dogs and cats, children, education, well - still old people, but dying people? Again, there is the paradigm that I do not want to know anything about death, it is not mine, where I would rather donate to an animal shelter. And that is what is needed. People want to do good, but the subject of death is not going to be one that they choose to support. The topic of death is the heavy end and requires a systematic and very strategically wise approach.

The weight is loaded and someone has to push it forward

This hospice project is a pilot. We are very grateful to the Ministry of Welfare for allowing us to pilot this project. The pilot will end in December this year. What will happen next? It is difficult to say whether the Ministry of Welfare will decide to continue this project, that it has justified itself. In any case, it seems to me that we have to start something, and this is a private initiative coming from Ilze Neimane Nespor to start this movement. It is a huge burden that the Ilses have taken on. The emotional load is very heavy. The weight is loaded and somebody has to push it forward and that is why I am still there, because now and then I feel that I can support not only the people who need hospice help, but also the team itself, to have a longer conversation with one or the other, to listen. That's important because I think we all burn out at some point, because burnout is one of the side risks of being a charity, especially on a subject as difficult as the end of life.

We want to fight not for better palliative care, but for a hospice system that allows people to spend the last days of their lives with dignity. What happens when a person is seriously ill? They sleep somewhere, at best in a place where they have relatives nearby. But most often, he or she has only the minimum needs. There is no possibility to think that maybe he would like to breathe some more fresh air, maybe he has a wish, maybe he wants to do something more. Nobody is interested in that.

Clearly, it will not be possible to build a hospice house that will be enough for everyone at once. But this pilot project could work as a good example, so that people can come as volunteers to see how the system works.

I also think that training is very important. I organise advance training. It is a big project, but I also realise that this is our biggest resource to add to the ranks of volunteers. People come from every group and then they form the core of the hospice. It is a circle of people who come together, feel each other and want to continue the work. Some disappear, but you never know when the seed will germinate.

When I think about the field of hospice work, which is so vast, I don't get the feeling that our work is a drop in the ocean. I think that to do this, even if it is step by step, and to do it in the way that we are doing it - in the way of educating the public, talking about it and not being afraid to mention it everywhere - I think that is very important. It will indeed take a long time, but I know that we will build this hospice.

Hospice movement - an opportunity to spend your free time in a meaningful way

If we look at Western societies, it has been a matter of honour to do this voluntary work for decades. Anyone who has a good career has, at some point in their life, given time to volunteering. We do not have that tradition. I think that in time we will develop this tradition, that people will understand more and more that you have to give something to society and you have to give your time to volunteering. You also often see young people, when they apply for a job, already put their volunteering experience on their CV, because it is, in a way, an indicator of something about the person, about their personality and their values. I think that this is very nice and that the bicycle will further promote and develop this movement.

My own involvement in the hospice movement helped me learn to listen to people. Listening and giving people your full attention creates a completely different energy. Also, getting out of roles, doing something that is not our everyday life and doing it as volunteers without getting anything for it, I think is very cool.

We need to shut people out of the Hospice movement. I can see for myself and I think I am not the only one with this problem - volunteering was much more possible when there was a pandemic and we were all freer, at least me, because I had relatively a lot of time. And the hospice was an opportunity to fill that free time in a meaningful way.

Ilze Neimane-Nešpora, Founder and Chairwoman of the Board of Hospiss LV:

Eve is a diva, she has this noble, aristocratic, fulfilled beauty. Eve's presence in the hospice is liberating, helps untie knots. Because you can only speak deeply and sincerely with a team, with the person with whom you are building the house.

And Ieva is my friend. In the hospice, we are honest about what we do and about each other. There is a string to catch, a person to find who is on the same wavelength. Here we are who we really are, we are ourselves. Hospice is our place in Latvia, our own space where we are pure souls.

Ieva has the syndrome of a flowing, calm river. There is a nobility in her that she has brought out with her life story and essence. This quality of Eve's enters the hospice like a flower in a wreath, where people are united by deep personal values.

Inta Gerharde, Hospiss LV Care Manager

Ieviņa is a wonderful person - she has a feminine subtlety and strength at the same time.

She is a seeker beyond the ordinary, with a desire to explore, feel, experience and understand the unknown. I have noticed that sometimes we read the same books and listen to the same speakers.

I am very happy that our paths have crossed and that we are on the same team. We can rely on her and trust her - we can be absolutely sure that if Ieviņa commits to something, then everything will be fine.